Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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