You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
