If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
