Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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