Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
