he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
