spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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