bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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