So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
