Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
