super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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