I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i now understand why vodka
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I forget how to act sober
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
