thus making me awesome and them whores
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
