last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
