my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I would fuck him just for his dog
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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