did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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