I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize