I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
