just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
