you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
