he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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