Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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