Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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