I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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