I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
