do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
