I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
