Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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