Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
