i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
