Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize