I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
