Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize