So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
