Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
