I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
