She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
