so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize