i just wanna soil my oats bro
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
