you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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