Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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