so explain again why im purple
no
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
