Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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