yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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