Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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