she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
