Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
