Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
