I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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