I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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