Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
