What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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