I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
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Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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