Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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