how can u be prego again
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
