It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
