How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
