I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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