Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
