Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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